New Golf Shoes

Man, I’m missing my footy. I think it’s time for another sports joke. Today’s sports joke is about some new golf shows. I’ve written a few sports jokes, like the Golf Hand Job Sports joke and one about general golf humour. As you’ll see, this new golf shoes joke is a little different and one that I’m sure you will like.

Bert’s New Golf Shoes

Bert, at 60 years of age, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Fred Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the misses.

Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”

Jennifer who’s 50, looked him over and replied, “Nope.”

Frustrated as hell, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes. Again he asked Jennifer, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”

Jennifer looked up and said in her best deadpan response, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”

Furious, Bert yells out, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, JENIFER?”

“Nope. Not a clue”, she replied.

“IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!

“Without missing a beat Jennifer replies, “You should have bought a new hat!”

How cool was that. To continue with the golf humour Victoria’s put something together to add to her Victoria’s Jokes collection.

new golf shoes
Knowing how much you guys love a great joke I’m going to include a link to my very popular Friday Funnies. If you missed some of my sports jokes just click here. Or, perhaps you’re more interested in some Hot Sports Babes.

Swimming Jokes

Today’s sports jokes are all about swimming jokes. I’ve decided on a sports joke today because it’s been so long since my last sports joke post. It was the Farts Football post way back on the 10th. March. That being the case I thought it was high time I posted another sports orientated joke. This following joke involves both diving and swimming sports.

Swimming Jokes To Make You Laugh

swimming jokesA man met a beautiful blonde lady and after a short courtship asked her to marry him.

She said, ‘But we don’t know anything about each other.’

He said, ‘That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.’

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a resort. One morning, they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10-metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, ‘That was incredible!’

He said, ‘I  used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about each other as we went along.’

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. After seventy-five laps she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her
towel and was hardly out of breath.

He said, ‘That was incredible!  Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?’

‘No,’ she said, ‘I was a prostitute in Mildura, but I worked both sides of the Murray !!!

Finally, let’s have a look at Victoria’s swimming joke.

Victoria's swimming joke

I sure hope you like today’s sports/swimming jokes. If you did why not share it with your friends?

If you’d love some more jokes, why not check out As always, you can get more laughs by checking out my Friday Funnies posts or the rest of my hilarious sports jokes?

 

Fart Football Rules Funny Sports joke

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve posted a funny sports joke. That being the case I figured I should do something to remedy that. What makes this sports joke so funny is that it all happens in bed. :wink:

Old Couple Playing Fart Football

fart football funny jokeAn old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man breaks wind and says, ‘Goal.’

His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’

The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘One each, tie score”….’

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 2 to 1.’

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘2- 2, tie score.’

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘ I lead 3 to 2.’ Now the pressure is on the old man

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally shits in the bed.

The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’

The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides

If you didn’t laugh at that one I reckon you may have to tweak your sense of humour a little. :tongue_out:

Someone else we haven’t heard from lately is Victoria. Luckily she dropped by to share one of her favourite Victoria’s Sports Jokes.

Victoria's Collection Of funny Sports jokes

Yeah, you just have to love Victoria’s jokes.

Finally I have a sports joke with a moral behind it.

A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, “At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex.” The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life.
When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, “Oh, I had to give a talk about yachting.”
His wife thinking that a little peculiar didn’t say anything more and went to sleep. The next day she bumped into one of his new teammates at the supermarket and asked, “I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?”
His mate said smiling, ‘Oh, it was excellent! Your husband is clearly very experienced!.”
The wife looked confused and replied to his mate, “Strange, he’s only ever done it twice and the second time he was sick.”

Speaking about funny jokes, have you ever visited my Friday Funnies posts?

Close Menu