It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a sports joke. I thought, being the start of the footy season and all, that I would post some AFL jokes.
The first of our AFL jokes involves four ‘Die-Hard’ footy fans.
Footy Fans AFL Jokes
Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Port Power fan, a Crows fan, a Collingwood fan, and a Carlton fan. The whole time they were climbing up the mountain they did nothing but argue about who was the most “die-hard” fan.
Once they reached the top of the mountain, the Collingwood fan proclaimed to the other three… “This is for all Collingwood supporters” and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.
Not to be outdone by a Collingwood fan, the Carlton fan jumped of the mountain screaming, “This is for all the Carlton supporters!”, again as a form of sacrifice.
Refusing to be outdone by the Collingwood and Carlton fans, the Adelaide Crows fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, “This is for all the Mighty Crows fans” and without hesitation, pushed the Port Adelaide fan off the mountain.
Yeah baby, Go The Crows!
I found the next of our AFL jokes on Bigfooty.com. This funny sports joke has both AFL players and incorporates the Melbourne Cup!
Nick Riewoldt, Sam Gilbert and Nick Dal Santo were at the Melbourne Cup. None of them were successful on the punt, and by the end of the day, they had 50 cents between them. They decided to pool their money together and bet on the last race, but couldn’t decide which horse to back, so Gilbert decided they should measure their manhood, tally it up and put the 50 cents on the corresponding horse.
Two minutes later, they emerged from the toilets, put their money on horse 12, which was a 100/1 outsider, and to their surprise it bolted home, winning by 3 lengths. They then argued how they were going to split the money.
“Well, my manhood was six inches long, so I should get half” said Gilbert.
“My manhood was four inches long, so I should get a third” said Riewoldt.
“That’s not fair!” says Dal Santo, “If I wasn’t aroused at the time, we’d have backed Number 11!”
Naturally I can’t finish this weeks sports joke without a contribution from Victoria’s AFL football Jokes!
If you enjoyed these jokes don’t forget to share it with your friends.
I know you guys would love to see more sports jokes and the only reason I’m not posting more is because really funny sports jokes aren’t that easy to find. I’d love to post a weekly funny sports joke, just like I do on my Friday Funnies series. If you have a funny sports joke that you would like me to post feel free to email it to me. If I do post it and you have a website or blog I’ll even link to it giving you your due credit.
Today’s funny sports joke takes place in Ireland and involves a golfer and a Leprechaun.
The Leprechaun A Funny Sports Joke
A golfer in Ireland hooks his drive into the woods.. Searching for his ball, he finds a little Leprechaun lying flat on his back, a bump on his head and golf ball beside him.
Horrified, the golfer gets his water bottle from the cart and pours it over the little guy, reviving him.
‘Arrgh! What happened?’ the Leprechaun asked.
‘I’m afraid I hit you with my golf ball,’ the golfer says.
‘Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddye want?’
‘Thank God, you’re all right!’ the golfer answers in relief. ‘I don’t want anything, I’m just glad you’re OK, and I apologize.’ And the golfer walks off.
‘What a nice guy,’ the Leprechaun says to himself. ‘ I have to do something for him. I’ll give him the three things I would want… a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.’
A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.
‘Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,’ the little guy says. ‘I just want to ask ye, how’s yer golf game?’
‘My game is fantastic!’ the golfer answers. ‘I’m an internationally famous golfer now.’ He adds, ‘By the way, it’s good to see you’re all right.’
‘Oh, I’m fine now, thank ye. I did that for yer golf game, ye know. And tell me, how’s yer money situation?’
‘Why, it’s just wonderful!’ the golfer states. ‘When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out 100 Euro bills I didn’t even know were there!’
‘I did that fer ye also.’ And tell me, how’s yer sex life?’
The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, ‘It’s OK.’
‘C’mon now,’ urged the Leprechaun, ‘I’m wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?’
Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, ‘Once, sometimes twice a week.’
‘What??’ responds the Leprechaun in shock. ‘That’s all? Only once or twice a week?’
‘Well,’ says the golfer, ‘I figure that’s not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.’
You can only imagine how much he would be getting if he wasn’t holding back
Seeing has how we haven’t heard much from Victoria lately I thought it was about time that she made another funny sports joke contribution. Yeah, the golfer just happens to be Irish.
In case you’re not sure what a fat shot is a “fat shot” is when the golfer’s club hits the ground prior to making contact with the golf ball. This usually leads to him/her bringing up a bit of the golf course, which is what Murphy was doing.
I hope you liked that funny sports joke. Don’t forget to share it with your mates.
You may be wondering why its been so long since my last funny sports jokes. Why I don’t have a weekly funny sports jokes section similar to WassupBlog’s Friday Funnies. The reason is quite simple really. There just isn’t a whole lot of really funny sports jokes out there. Having said that I’ve come across a couple of what I think are pretty funny sports jokes.
Funny Sports Joke #1
The following funny sports jokes could happen anywhere and involve any team. But for the purpose of this post, and to keep with my Port Power Fan Loyalty post, I’m going to make it about 3 Port Power fans.
Three Port fans were talking about the sad state of their local club;
The first fan blamed…: “I blame the manager; if we could sign better players, we’d be a great club.”
The second fan blamed…: “I blame the players; if they made more effort, I’m sure we would score more goals.”
The third fan blamed…: “I blame my parents; if I had been born in a different town, I’d be supporting a decent team.”
Funny Sports Joke #2
The next is a funny sports jokes image.
The next, hopefully funny joke is all about a young boys football boots
Funny Sports Jokes #3
A woman takes her lover home during the day whilst her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home from school early, sees them, and sneaks into a cupboard to watch. They’re in bed when the woman’s husband also comes home unexpectedly, so she tells her lover to hide in the cupboard, not realising that her little boy is already in there.
After a little while the little boy says, ‘Dark in here.”
The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything, let alone from a little boy says, ‘Yes, it is.’
Boy – ‘I have a football.’
Man – ‘That’s nice.’
Boy – ‘Want to buy it?’
Man – ‘No, thanks.’
Boy – ‘My dad’s outside, should I tell him you’re here ?’
Man – (Sigh..) ‘OK, how much?’
Boy – ‘£ 250’
In the next few months, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy – ‘Dark in here.’
Man – ‘Yes, it is’
Boy – ‘I have football boots.’
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, ‘OK How much this time?’
Boy – ‘£ 750’
Man – ‘Sold.’
Sometime later, the boys’ father says to the boy, ‘Grab your boots and football, let’s go outside and have a game of soccer.
The boy says, ‘Sorry Dad, I can’t, I’ve sold my ball and boots.’
The father (a little angrily) asks, ‘ That was your Xmas present – how much did you sell them for, and who to?’
The boy says, ‘To a friend of mine for a £ 1,000..’
The father says, ‘That’s a terrible thing to do, ripping off your friend like that. That’s 10 times what they cost when they were new, I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your terrible sins.’
They go to the church, and the father makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, ‘Dark in here’..
The priest says, ‘Don’t start thatagain you little sod, you’re in my cupboard now’.
That’s it for this weeks funny sports jokes. Don’t forget to share this post with your favourite social media site.