Soccer Jokes In Honour Of The Fifa World Cup

Yep, I reckon it’s time I presented you guys with another sports joke. In honour of the 2014 Fifa World Cup I think it’s only fitting that soccer jokes should be the focus of this weeks Sports Jokes.

The scouts are a very important factor of any top sport team Their job is to find up and coming sport stars who will hopefully make their team a finals contender. The following soccer joke is about a talented soccer player recruited by the Liverpool scout.

Soccer Joke Liverpool Scout Recruit

It turns out that Liverpool has a well-known goalscoring problem. In an effort to solve the problem they send their top scout around the world to look for some top talent. Around the end of his trip, he stops over in Baghdad where he happens to see a young Iraqi lad playing on the street. The kid is phenomenal, so the scout recommends him to Brendan Rogers. Liverpool sign him to a one year contract and the kid joins the team for the preseason.

It’s the opening game of the season and Liverpool are down 3-0 at home, with only 15 minutes left. With nothing to lose, Rodgers gives the kid the nod and the young Iraqi runs onto the pitch, replacing Luis Suarez. The kid is a sensation – scores 4 goals in 15 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool! The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love their new star.

When the player comes off the field he’s an instant hero, but because he’s a humble and grounded lad, the first thing he does is phone his mum to tell her about his first day of English premiership football. “Hello Mom, guess what” says the youngter “Did you see? I got my first 15 minutes and scored 4 goals, it’s amazing I love it here, I can’t believe what a day I’ve had!” “

Well that’s wonderful and all” says his mom, “but let me tell you about my day. While you were out playing your football and celebrating with your new friends, your father was shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, raped and beaten, and your brother ran off and joined a gang of looters.”

The young Iraqi boy is obviously very, very upset. He’s shocked, and doesn’t know what to say “What can I say mum, that’s awful, I’m so sorry.”

“SORRY?” she replies.”You’re sorry?? It’s because of you we moved to Liverpool in the first place”

I got this one in an email the other day. This soccer joke really made me smile.

soccer joke

Finally, I want to share with you a really funny video. This particular video was put together by some guys who go by the name Dude Perfect. They’ve put this video together in honour of The 2014 World Cup. I absolutely loved it when I saw it and I know you will too.

The Red Card In Rio Soccer Joke Video

If you loved that video as much as I did you should check out the Dude Perfect Channel.

Football Sports Jokes

For this weeks sports jokes I thought I would feature a couple of football sports jokes and then finish off with a video featuring some funny sports moments of 2013. It even has one or two funny football sports moments.

Football Sports Jokes Takes You To An AFL Grand Final

A man with tickets to the AFL Grand Final finds his seat and relaxes. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

“No”, he says. “The seat is empty.”

“That’s incredible”, said the stranger. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the AFL Grand Final and not use it?”

“Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Grand Final we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.”

The stranger replies, “Oh…I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. Couldn’t you find someone else – a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?”

The man shakes his head. “Nope. They’re all at the funeral.”

Boyfriend’s Blonde Football Sports Jokes

Football Sports Jokes

Sports Video Of The Week

I certainly hope you enjoyed this weeks football sports jokes. Maybe even enough to share it on your favourite social media site. ;)

Golf Joke Of The Week

Well, I think enough time has gone by since the last Sports Joke to allow me to post another one. Strangely enough, like the last joke this one is all about the sport of golf. What is more interesting is it’s about women who play golf who decide not to wear panties. ;)

Golf Joke About Female Golfers Who Don’t Wear Panties

No PantiesThe Swede’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

‘Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any skivvies?’, her husband demanded.

‘Well’ she said, ‘you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.’

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, ‘For the sake of decency, here’s a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear..’

Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee..Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. ‘Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers. Why not?’

She replies, ‘I can’t afford any on the money you give me.’

Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, ‘For the sake of decency, here’s a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear”!

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

‘Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where ta friggin hell are yer drawers?’

She too explains, ‘You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.’

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, ‘Well, fer the love ‘o decency woman, here’s a comb…. Tidy yerself up a bit.

Sexy Golf Video Of Women Learning To Play Golf

Keeping with the golf joke them I found a video that I’m sure you’ll enjoy.

Finally, a not so well known fact about golfers and their sexual exploits with women ;)

golf joke sports joke
If you would like to have some fun with your golfing buddies you’ll probably be interested in these Trick Golf Balls Exploding, Mist, Wobble, Streamer.
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