Swimming jokes is what todays sports jokes is all about. I’ve decided on a sports joke today because its been so long since my last sports joke post. Actually, it was the Farts Football post way back on the 10th. March. That being the case I thought it was high time I posted another sports orientated joke. This following joke involves both diving and swimming sports.

Swimming Jokes To Make You Laugh

swimming jokesA man met a beautiful blonde lady and after a short courtship asked her to marry him.

She said, ‘But we don’t know anything about each other.’

He said, ‘That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.’

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a resort. One morning, they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, ‘That was incredible!’

He said, ‘I  used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about each other as we went along.’

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. After seventy-five laps she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her
towel and was hardly out of breath.

He said, ‘That was incredible!  Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?’

‘No,’ she said, ‘I was a prostitute in Mildura, but I worked both sides of the Murray !!!

Finally, let’s have a look at Victoria’s swimming joke.

Victoria's swimming joke

I sure hope you like today’s sport’s / swimming jokes. If you did why not share it with your friends?

If you’d love some more jokes, why not check out As always, you can get more laughs by checking out the my Friday Funnies posts or the rest of my really funny sports jokes?


Before I discuss the topic, Why did the Crows lose the Grand Final I want to say right from the start, the Crows played like shit! Where were the Crows yesterday? They certainly weren’t at the MCG, that’s for damn sure. I don’t know who was masquerading as the Crows but that sure as hell wasn’t the same team that did all they could to get to the Grand Final!

Why Did The Crows Lose The Grand Final

In no particular order here are my reasons for the Crows losing the 2017 AFL Grand Final.

  1. Bad Umpiring! I know everyone one will say that’s just sour grapes but I’m just calling it as it is. Take the failed free kick when Eddie nearly got his arm pulled off by Grimes in the second quarter. He was right in front of goals, so that would have been a goal for sure. That was just one decision that sucked. Also I noticed that when the Tigers got a free kick they were either in or near their 50, whereas a Crows free was usually at the other end of the oval.
  2. Like I said at the beginning, the Crows played like crap. That being the case the Tigers were lucky the Crows weren’t at their best.
  3. Outsmarted: Did anyone notice that Jacobs was almost always the only one in the rucking contest. That freed up a Tiger player which usually resulted in them getting the ball. Why didn’t anyone notice this from the Crows team. Someone should have told Jacobs to forget about tapping the ball but to punch the crap out of it toward their goals. Either that or grab the bloody thing and kick it.

Perhaps if the umpires got it right, the Crows performed better and the coaching stuff done their bit Richmond may have still won it, but at least it would have been a better finals game.

Why Port Power Fan SucksWhy Did The Crows Lose The Grand Final

I didn’t bother much with social media after the game but I heard it was rife with Power supporters and all those band wagon Richmond backers who were bagging the Crows. I’m not at all surprised from the Power fans. After all, they probably find it pretty hard to remember what happened last week let alone their dismal effort in the 2007 Grand Final where they lost against Geelong by a whopping 119 points! Now that was probably one of the worst Grand Finals results ever.

I know I shouldn’t stoop to their level, but sometimes these things just have to be pointed out.