Click here to go to Slotland!

I got this in an email today which I consider to be some pretty funny AFL footy humour. AFL footy humour that I’m sure you’ll enjoy.

Funny AFL Footy Humour

There a quite a few people out there who question the intelligence of our Aussie rules footballers. I reckon that these quotes from some of our best footy legends will put that issue to rest.  :tongue_out:

‘I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.’
(Shane Wakelin).
‘Nobody in football should be called a genius.

A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein’
(Mick Malthouse – Collingwood).
‘I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.’
(Peter Bell – Fremantle – on his University Law studies)
‘You guys line up alphabetically by height.’ and ‘You guys pair up in Groups of three, then line up in a circle.’
(Barry Hall Sydney Captain at training)..
Brock Maclean ( Melbourne ) on whether he had visited the Pyramids During his visit to Egypt :
‘I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.’
(THIS IS PRICELESS!!!!)
‘He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of What time it is.’
(Kevin Sheedy on James Hird).
Jonathan Brown, on night Grand Finals vs Day Games
‘It’s basically the same, just darker.’
Ron Barassi talking about Gary Cowton ‘I told him, ‘Son, what is it With you. Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, ‘Barass, I don’t know and I don’t care.’ (HYSTERICAL)
Barry Hall ( Sydney ) when asked about the upcoming season: ‘I want to kick 70 or 80 goals this season, whichever comes first.’
‘Luke Hodge – the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago’
(Dermott Brereton).
‘Chad had done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.’
(Mark Williams).
At least this one could have been ironic?
‘We actually got the winning goal three minutes from the end but then They scored.’
(Ben Cousins, West Coast Eagles).
‘I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.’
(Luke Darcy).
‘That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which Was identical.’
(Dermott Brereton).
‘Sure there have been injuries and deaths in football – but none of Them serious.’
(Adrian Anderson).
‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same Thing again.
(Andrew Demetriou).
‘I would not say he (Chris Judd) is the best centreman in the AFL but There are none better.’ (Dermott Brereton).
‘I never comment on umpires, and I’m not going to break the habit of a Lifetime for that prat.’ (Terry Wallace).
Garry Lyon : ‘Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?’
David Swartz: ‘On what?’
‘Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.’
(Dermott Brereton).


AFL Footy Humour

Funny Video About A Nun’s Confession

Finally, I’ve got a video all about a nun’s confession.

Why not check out some of my other funny sports jokes.

Man, I’m missing my footy. I think it’s time for another sports joke. Today’s sports joke is about some new golf shows. I’ve written a few sports jokes, like the Golf Hand Job Sports joke and one about general golf humour. As you’ll see, this new golf shoes joke is a little different and one that I’m sure you will like.

Bert’s New Golf Shoes

Bert, at 60 years of age, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Fred Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the misses.

Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”

Jennifer who’s 50, looked him over and replied, “Nope.”

Frustrated as hell, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes. Again he asked Jennifer, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”

Jennifer looked up and said in her best deadpan response, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”

Furious, Bert yells out, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, JENIFER?”

“Nope. Not a clue”, she replied.

“IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!

“Without missing a beat Jennifer replies, “You should have bought a new hat!”

How cool was that. To continue with the golf humour Victoria’s put something together to add to her Victoria’s Jokes collection.

new golf shoes
Knowing how much you guys love a great joke I’m going to include a link to my very popular Friday Funnies. If you missed some of my sports jokes just click here. Or, perhaps you’re more interested in some Hot Sports Babes.

I know you guys would love to see more sports jokes and the only reason I’m not posting more is because really funny sports jokes aren’t that easy to find. I’d love to post a weekly funny sports joke, just like I do on my Friday Funnies series. If you have a funny sports joke that you would like me to post feel free to email it to me. If I do post it and you have a website or blog I’ll even link to it giving you your due credit.

Today’s funny sports joke takes place in Ireland and involves a golfer and a Leprechaun.

The Leprechaun A Funny Sports Joke

A golfer in Ireland hooks his drive into the woods.. Searching for his ball, he finds a little Leprechaun lying flat on his back, a bump on his head and golf ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer gets his water bottle from the cart and pours it over the little guy, reviving him.

‘Arrgh! What happened?’ the Leprechaun asked.

‘I’m afraid I hit you with my golf ball,’ the golfer says.

‘Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddye want?’

‘Thank God, you’re all right!’ the golfer answers in relief. ‘I don’t want anything, I’m just glad you’re OK, and I apologize.’ And the golfer walks off.

‘What a nice guy,’ the Leprechaun says to himself. ‘ I have to do something for him. I’ll give him the three things I would want… a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.’

A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

‘Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,’ the little guy says. ‘I just want to ask ye, how’s yer golf game?’

‘My game is fantastic!’ the golfer answers. ‘I’m an internationally famous golfer now.’ He adds, ‘By the way, it’s good to see you’re all right.’

‘Oh, I’m fine now, thank ye. I did that for yer golf game, ye know. And tell me, how’s yer money situation?’

‘Why, it’s just wonderful!’ the golfer states. ‘When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out 100 Euro bills I didn’t even know were there!’

‘I did that fer ye also.’ And tell me, how’s yer sex life?’

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, ‘It’s OK.’

‘C’mon now,’ urged the Leprechaun, ‘I’m wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?’

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, ‘Once, sometimes twice a week.’

‘What??’ responds the Leprechaun in shock. ‘That’s all? Only once or twice a week?’

‘Well,’ says the golfer, ‘I figure that’s not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.’

You can only imagine how much he would be getting if he wasn’t holding back  :devil:

Seeing has how we haven’t heard much from Victoria lately I thought it was about time that she made another funny sports joke contribution. Yeah, the golfer just happens to be Irish.

Victorias funny sports joke

In case you’re not sure what a fat shot is a “fat shot” is when the golfer’s club hits the ground prior to making contact with the golf ball. This usually leads to him/her bringing up a bit of the golf course, which is what Murphy was doing.

I hope you liked that funny sports joke. Don’t forget to share it with your mates.

 

Click here to go to Win A Day Casino!