Fart Football Rules Funny Sports joke

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve posted a funny sports joke. That being the case I figured I should do something to remedy that. What makes this sports joke so funny is that it all happens in bed. ūüėČ

Old Couple Playing Fart Football

fart football funny jokeAn old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man breaks wind and says, ‘Goal.’

His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’

The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘One each, tie score‚ÄĚ….’

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 2 to 1.’

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘2- 2, tie score.’

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘ I lead 3 to 2.’ Now the pressure is on the old man

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally shits in the bed.

The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’

The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides

If you didn’t laugh at that one I reckon you may have to tweak your sense of humour a little. :tongue_out:

Someone else we haven’t heard from lately is Victoria. Luckily she dropped by to share one of her favourite Victoria’s Sports Jokes.

Victoria's Collection Of funny Sports jokes

Yeah, you just have to love Victoria’s jokes.

Finally I have a sports joke with a moral behind it.

A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, “At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex.” The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life.
When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, “Oh, I had to give a talk about yachting.”
His wife thinking that a little peculiar didn’t say anything more and went to sleep. The next day she bumped into one of his new teammates at the supermarket and asked, “I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?”
His mate said smiling, ‘Oh, it was excellent! Your husband is clearly very experienced!.”
The wife looked confused and replied to his mate, “Strange, he’s only ever done it twice and the second time he was sick.”

Speaking about funny jokes, have you ever visited my Friday Funnies posts?

AFL Jokes Sports Jokes That Make You Laugh

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a sports joke. I thought, being the start of the footy season and all, that I would post some AFL jokes.

The first of our AFL jokes involves four ‘Die-Hard’ footy fans.

Footy Fans AFL Jokes

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Port Power¬†fan, a Crows¬†fan, a Collingwood¬†fan, and a Carlton¬†fan. The whole time they were climbing up the mountain¬†they did nothing but argue about who was the most “die-hard” fan.

Once they¬†reached the top of the mountain, the Collingwood¬†fan proclaimed to the other three… “This is for all Collingwood supporters” and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Collingwood¬†fan, the Carlton¬†fan jumped of the mountain screaming, “This is for all the Carlton supporters!”, again as a form of sacrifice.

Refusing to be outdone by the Collingwood¬†and Carlton¬†fans, the Adelaide Crows¬†fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, “This is for all the¬†Mighty Crows fans” and without hesitation, pushed the Port Adelaide¬†fan off the mountain.

Yeah baby, Go The Crows!   :tongue_out:

I found the next of our AFL jokes on Bigfooty.com. This funny sports joke has both AFL players and incorporates the Melbourne Cup!

Nick Riewoldt, Sam Gilbert and Nick Dal Santo were at the Melbourne Cup. None of them were successful on the punt, and by the end of the day, they had 50 cents between them. They decided to pool their money together and bet on the last race, but couldn’t decide which horse to back, so Gilbert decided they should measure their manhood, tally it up and put the 50 cents on the corresponding horse.

Two minutes later, they emerged from the toilets, put their money on horse 12, which was a 100/1 outsider, and to their surprise it bolted home, winning by 3 lengths. They then argued how they were going to split the money.

“Well, my manhood was six inches long, so I should get half” said Gilbert.

“My manhood was four inches long, so I should get a third” said Riewoldt.

“That’s not fair!” says Dal Santo, “If I wasn’t aroused at the time, we’d have backed Number 11!”

Naturally I can’t finish this weeks sports joke without a contribution from Victoria’s AFL football Jokes!

Victoria's AFL Jokes

If you enjoyed these jokes don’t forget to share it with your friends.

 

Another Funny Sports Joke

I know you guys would love to see more sports jokes and the only reason I’m not posting more is because really funny sports jokes aren’t that easy to find. I’d love to post a weekly funny sports joke, just like I do on my Friday Funnies series.¬†If you have a funny sports joke that you would like me to post feel free to email it to me. If I do post it and you have a website or blog I’ll even link to it giving you your due credit.

Today’s funny sports joke takes place in Ireland and involves a golfer and a Leprechaun.

The Leprechaun A Funny Sports Joke

A golfer in Ireland hooks his drive into the woods.. Searching for his ball, he finds a little Leprechaun lying flat on his back, a bump on his head and golf ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer gets his water bottle from the cart and pours it over the little guy, reviving him.

‘Arrgh! What happened?’ the Leprechaun asked.

‘I’m afraid I hit you with my golf ball,’ the golfer says.

‘Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddye want?’

‘Thank God, you’re all right!’ the golfer answers in relief. ‘I don’t want anything, I’m just glad you’re OK, and I apologize.’ And the golfer walks off.

‘What a nice guy,’ the Leprechaun says to himself. ‘ I have to do something for him. I’ll give him the three things I would want… a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.’

A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

‘Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,’ the little guy says. ‘I just want to ask ye, how’s yer golf game?’

‘My game is fantastic!’ the golfer answers. ‘I’m an internationally famous golfer now.’ He adds, ‘By the way, it’s good to see you’re all right.’

‘Oh, I’m fine now, thank ye. I did that for yer golf game, ye know. And tell me, how’s yer money situation?’

‘Why, it’s just wonderful!’ the golfer states. ‘When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out 100 Euro bills I didn’t even know were there!’

‘I did that fer ye also.’ And tell me, how’s yer sex life?’

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, ‘It’s OK.’

‘C’mon now,’ urged the Leprechaun, ‘I’m wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?’

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, ‘Once, sometimes twice a week.’

‘What??’ responds the Leprechaun in shock. ‘That’s all? Only once or twice a week?’

‘Well,’ says the golfer, ‘I figure that’s not bad for¬†a Catholic priest in a small parish.’

You can only imagine how much he would be getting if he wasn’t holding back¬† :devil:

Seeing has how we haven’t heard much from Victoria lately I thought it was about time that she made another funny sports joke contribution. Yeah, the golfer just happens to be Irish.

Victorias funny sports joke

In case you’re not sure what a fat shot is¬†a “fat shot” is when the golfer’s club hits the ground prior to making contact with the golf ball. This usually leads to him/her bringing up a bit of the golf course, which is what Murphy was doing.

I hope you liked that funny sports joke. Don’t forget to share it with your mates.