New Golf Shoes

Man, I’m missing my footy. I think it’s time for another sports joke. Today’s sports joke is about some new golf shows. I’ve written a few sports jokes, like the Golf Hand Job Sports joke and one about general golf humour. As you’ll see, this new golf shoes joke is a little different and one that I’m sure you will like.

Bert’s New Golf Shoes

Bert, at 60 years of age, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Fred Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the misses.

Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”

Jennifer who’s 50, looked him over and replied, “Nope.”

Frustrated as hell, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes. Again he asked Jennifer, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”

Jennifer looked up and said in her best deadpan response, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”

Furious, Bert yells out, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, JENIFER?”

“Nope. Not a clue”, she replied.

“IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!

“Without missing a beat Jennifer replies, “You should have bought a new hat!”

How cool was that. To continue with the golf humour Victoria’s put something together to add to her Victoria’s Jokes collection.

new golf shoes
Knowing how much you guys love a great joke I’m going to include a link to my very popular Friday Funnies. If you missed some of my sports jokes just click here. Or, perhaps you’re more interested in some Hot Sports Babes.

Fart Football Rules Funny Sports joke

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve posted a funny sports joke. That being the case I figured I should do something to remedy that. What makes this sports joke so funny is that it all happens in bed. 😉

Old Couple Playing Fart Football

fart football funny jokeAn old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man breaks wind and says, ‘Goal.’

His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’

The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘One each, tie score”….’

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 2 to 1.’

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘2- 2, tie score.’

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘ I lead 3 to 2.’ Now the pressure is on the old man

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally shits in the bed.

The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’

The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides

If you didn’t laugh at that one I reckon you may have to tweak your sense of humour a little. :tongue_out:

Someone else we haven’t heard from lately is Victoria. Luckily she dropped by to share one of her favourite Victoria’s Sports Jokes.

Victoria's Collection Of funny Sports jokes

Yeah, you just have to love Victoria’s jokes.

Finally I have a sports joke with a moral behind it.

A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, “At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex.” The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life.
When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, “Oh, I had to give a talk about yachting.”
His wife thinking that a little peculiar didn’t say anything more and went to sleep. The next day she bumped into one of his new teammates at the supermarket and asked, “I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?”
His mate said smiling, ‘Oh, it was excellent! Your husband is clearly very experienced!.”
The wife looked confused and replied to his mate, “Strange, he’s only ever done it twice and the second time he was sick.”

Speaking about funny jokes, have you ever visited my Friday Funnies posts?