Swimming Jokes

Today’s sports jokes are all about swimming jokes. I’ve decided on a sports joke today because it’s been so long since my last sports joke post. It was the Farts Football post way back on the 10th. March. That being the case I thought it was high time I posted another sports orientated joke. This following joke involves both diving and swimming sports.

Swimming Jokes To Make You Laugh

swimming jokesA man met a beautiful blonde lady and after a short courtship asked her to marry him.

She said, ‘But we don’t know anything about each other.’

He said, ‘That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.’

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a resort. One morning, they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10-metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, ‘That was incredible!’

He said, ‘I  used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about each other as we went along.’

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. After seventy-five laps she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her
towel and was hardly out of breath.

He said, ‘That was incredible!  Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?’

‘No,’ she said, ‘I was a prostitute in Mildura, but I worked both sides of the Murray !!!

Finally, let’s have a look at Victoria’s swimming joke.

Victoria's swimming joke

I sure hope you like today’s sports/swimming jokes. If you did why not share it with your friends?

If you’d love some more jokes, why not check out As always, you can get more laughs by checking out my Friday Funnies posts or the rest of my hilarious sports jokes?


Golf Sports Joke

Funny Story Of A Woman Golfer

Golf Sports

It’s been a while since I posted a joke and so I though it was about time I gave you guys a real treat.

A group of guys lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. One got transferred to another city. It wasn’t the same without him.

A new woman joined their Club. She overheard the guys talking about their  golf round. She said, “You know, I used to play on my golf team in  college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?”

The three guys looked at each other. Not one of them wanted to say ‘yes’,  but she had them on the spot. Finally, one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting early — at 6:30 a.m.

He figured the early tee-time would discourage her. The woman said this may be a problem and asked if she could be up to 15 minutes late. They  rolled their eyes, but said okay. She smiled and said “Good I’ll be  there at 6:30 or 6:45.”

She showed up at 6:30 sharp and beat all three of them with an  eye-opening 2-under par round. She was fun and a pleasant person and the  guys were impressed. Back at the clubhouse, they congratulated her and  invited her back the next week. She smiled and said “I’ll be there at  6:30 or 6:45.”

The next week she again showed up at 6:30 sharp. Only this time she played left-handed. The three guys were incredulous as she still beat them with an even par round despite playing with her off-hand. They were  totally amazed.

They couldn’t figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn’t seem to be purposely showing them up. They invited her back again but each man harbored a burning desire to beat her.

The third week the guys had their game faces on. But this time she was 15 minutes late which made the guys irritable. This week the lady played  right-handed and narrowly beat all three of them.

The men mused that her late arrival was due to petty gamesmanship on her part. However she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, they couldn’t hold a grudge.

Back in the clubhouse all three guys were shaking their heads. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out. They had a couple of beers and finally one of the men asked her point blank “How do you decide if  you’re going to golf right-handed or left-handed?”

The lady blushed and grinned. “That’s easy” she said. “When my Dad taught me to play golf I learned I was ambidextrous. I like to switch back and forth. When I got married after college I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude. From then on I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him.  If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left I golfed left-handed.”

The guys thought this was hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, “But what if it’s pointing straight up?”

She said, “Then, I’m fifteen minutes late”

 I don’t know about you but I sure as hell was not expecting that!

And now, a little something from our very own comedian, the sultry Victoria.

Victorias Golf Sports Joke

If you liked those jokes please share it with your friends. You can do so by clicking on your favourite social media icon below.  :thumb_up:

Love golf jokes? Great, here’s some great golf jokes!

Blonde Sports Joke

It’s been awhile since my last sports joke so I figured it was about time for another one. Knowing how popular blonde jokes are I thought I’d make this one a blonde sports joke orientated post.

Blonde Sports Joke The Blonde Counsellor

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counsellor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?”

The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”

“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”  :soccer:

Victoria’s Blonde Sports Joke

In one of my previous sports jokes posts I introduced you to one of Sexy Sal’s blonde jokes. I love Sexy Sal’s blonde jokes but Sexy Sal belongs to WassupBlog. I think it’s only appropriate that EZ eSports Betting deserves it’s very own Sexy Sports Comedian. I looked high and low for a sexy sports mascot that would fit the bill and I finally found her.

She’s Victoria and she was named after the Roman Goddess of the same name. Even though the Goddess Victoria was more a symbol of victory over death determining who would be successful during a war I have named her the Goddess Of Sports

Our Victoria also has a love for sports and loves it when her teams are victorious. She also has a great sense of humour and loves to tell a good joke. Today is Victoria’s debut on ezesportsbetting.com, and keeping with the theme of this post it just happens to be a blonde sports joke.

blonde sports jokes Victoria's blonde joke


I couldn’t find any blonde sports jokes on YouTube but I did manage to find a sports related video that I know you will enjoy. Heck, you may even see a blonde or two in there  :tongue_out: It’s called…

Funniest Sports Moments Of 2013

That’s all folks. Don’t forget to vote for The Hottest Sports Babe.

Oh, if you enjoyed this weeks post leave a comment saying what you liked about it. Heck, you might even want to give it a Tweet or share it on FaceBook or something.  😀