I got this in an email today which I consider to be some pretty funny AFL footy humour. AFL footy humour that I’m sure you’ll enjoy.

Funny AFL Footy Humour

There a quite a few people out there who question the intelligence of our Aussie rules footballers. I reckon that these quotes from some of our best footy legends will put that issue to rest.  :tongue_out:

‘I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.’
(Shane Wakelin).
‘Nobody in football should be called a genius.

A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein’
(Mick Malthouse – Collingwood).
‘I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.’
(Peter Bell – Fremantle – on his University Law studies)
‘You guys line up alphabetically by height.’ and ‘You guys pair up in Groups of three, then line up in a circle.’
(Barry Hall Sydney Captain at training)..
Brock Maclean ( Melbourne ) on whether he had visited the Pyramids During his visit to Egypt :
‘I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.’
(THIS IS PRICELESS!!!!)
‘He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of What time it is.’
(Kevin Sheedy on James Hird).
Jonathan Brown, on night Grand Finals vs Day Games
‘It’s basically the same, just darker.’
Ron Barassi talking about Gary Cowton ‘I told him, ‘Son, what is it With you. Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, ‘Barass, I don’t know and I don’t care.’ (HYSTERICAL)
Barry Hall ( Sydney ) when asked about the upcoming season: ‘I want to kick 70 or 80 goals this season, whichever comes first.’
‘Luke Hodge – the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago’
(Dermott Brereton).
‘Chad had done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.’
(Mark Williams).
At least this one could have been ironic?
‘We actually got the winning goal three minutes from the end but then They scored.’
(Ben Cousins, West Coast Eagles).
‘I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.’
(Luke Darcy).
‘That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which Was identical.’
(Dermott Brereton).
‘Sure there have been injuries and deaths in football – but none of Them serious.’
(Adrian Anderson).
‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same Thing again.
(Andrew Demetriou).
‘I would not say he (Chris Judd) is the best centreman in the AFL but There are none better.’ (Dermott Brereton).
‘I never comment on umpires, and I’m not going to break the habit of a Lifetime for that prat.’ (Terry Wallace).
Garry Lyon : ‘Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?’
David Swartz: ‘On what?’
‘Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.’
(Dermott Brereton).


AFL Footy Humour

Funny Video About A Nun’s Confession

Finally, I’ve got a video all about a nun’s confession.

Why not check out some of my other funny sports jokes.

Man, a long time’s passed since my last sports joke, which happens to be the New Golf Shoes joke. I’ve posted a few sports jokes, but I reckon this is the first ever rugby league joke. I’m pretty wrapped with this rugby league joke too because it’s so damn funny.

Funniest Rugby League Joke

Noel Cleal flies to Kabul to watch a young Afghani star play with an inflated goat’s bladder in a local game of rugby league. He is suitably impressed, gets on the phone to Des Hasler, signs the boy on the spot and arranges for him to come over to Sydney.

Two weeks later The Doggies are 12 – 0 down to The Sea Eagles at home with only 20 minutes left – it’s been a hard day at the office. Hasler gives the young Afghani winger the nod, and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, playing an absolute blinder. He scores three tries in 20 minutes, converting all of them himself, from out wide and wins the game for Canterbury.

The Belmore Oval fans are delighted, the players and the coach are delighted, and the media love the new Rugby League star.

When the player comes off the ground, he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in the NRL. “Hello mum, guess what?” he says “I played for 20 minutes today, we were 12 – 0 down, but I scored three tries – they call it a hat-trick -, and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the press, they all love me! I’m so bloody happy mum.”

“Wonderful,” says his mum, “Let me tell you about my day … Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and assaulted – she would have been raped but for a passing police vehicle. Your brother has joined a local gang of looters and set fire to some buildings and all while you tell me that you were having a great time!!”

The young lad is very upset. “What can I say mum, but I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?!!! You’re sorry?!!!” says his mum, “It’s your bloody fault we came to Bankstown in the first place!”

Luckily for us, Victoria has another cool rugby league joke for us.

Victoria’s Rugby League Joke

rugby league joke

If you’re looking for more laughs, you should check out my Laughahlics videos. Better still, check out my latest funniest Adults Only jokes.