It’s been quite awhile since I’ve posted a funny sports joke. That being the case I figured I should do something to remedy that. What makes this sports joke so funny is that it all happens in bed. :wink:

Old Couple Playing Fart Football

fart football funny jokeAn old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man breaks wind and says, ‘Goal.’

His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’

The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘One each, tie score”….’

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 2 to 1.’

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘2- 2, tie score.’

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘ I lead 3 to 2.’ Now the pressure is on the old man

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally shits in the bed.

The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’

The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides

If you didn’t laugh at that one I reckon you may have to tweak your sense of humour a little. :tongue_out:

Someone else we haven’t heard from lately is Victoria. Luckily she dropped by to share one of her favourite Victoria’s Sports Jokes.

Victoria's Collection Of funny Sports jokes

Yeah, you just have to love Victoria’s jokes.

Finally I have a sports joke with a moral behind it.

A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, “At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex.” The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life.
When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, “Oh, I had to give a talk about yachting.”
His wife thinking that a little peculiar didn’t say anything more and went to sleep. The next day she bumped into one of his new teammates at the supermarket and asked, “I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?”
His mate said smiling, ‘Oh, it was excellent! Your husband is clearly very experienced!.”
The wife looked confused and replied to his mate, “Strange, he’s only ever done it twice and the second time he was sick.”

Speaking about funny jokes, have you ever visited my Friday Funnies posts?

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a sports joke. I thought, being the start of the footy season and all, that I would post some AFL jokes.

The first of our AFL jokes involves four ‘Die-Hard’ footy fans.

Footy Fans AFL Jokes

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Port Power fan, a Crows fan, a Collingwood fan, and a Carlton fan. The whole time they were climbing up the mountain they did nothing but argue about who was the most “die-hard” fan.

Once they reached the top of the mountain, the Collingwood fan proclaimed to the other three… “This is for all Collingwood supporters” and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Collingwood fan, the Carlton fan jumped of the mountain screaming, “This is for all the Carlton supporters!”, again as a form of sacrifice.

Refusing to be outdone by the Collingwood and Carlton fans, the Adelaide Crows fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, “This is for all the Mighty Crows fans” and without hesitation, pushed the Port Adelaide fan off the mountain.

Yeah baby, Go The Crows!   :tongue_out:

I found the next of our AFL jokes on This funny sports joke has both AFL players and incorporates the Melbourne Cup!

Nick Riewoldt, Sam Gilbert and Nick Dal Santo were at the Melbourne Cup. None of them were successful on the punt, and by the end of the day, they had 50 cents between them. They decided to pool their money together and bet on the last race, but couldn’t decide which horse to back, so Gilbert decided they should measure their manhood, tally it up and put the 50 cents on the corresponding horse.

Two minutes later, they emerged from the toilets, put their money on horse 12, which was a 100/1 outsider, and to their surprise it bolted home, winning by 3 lengths. They then argued how they were going to split the money.

“Well, my manhood was six inches long, so I should get half” said Gilbert.

“My manhood was four inches long, so I should get a third” said Riewoldt.

“That’s not fair!” says Dal Santo, “If I wasn’t aroused at the time, we’d have backed Number 11!”

Naturally I can’t finish this weeks sports joke without a contribution from Victoria’s AFL football Jokes!

Victoria's AFL Jokes

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